How to Support Survivors of Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse is a traumatic experience and it impacts survivors differently. Getting support from friends and family is important for survivors to get through the effects of sexual abuse and to feel safe again in society.

Here are a few ways you can support a sexual abuse survivor around you:

• Believe them.

There is a sufficient history of not believing sexual abuse survivors in Nigeria. For this reason, it is usually hard for survivors of sexual abuse to talk about their experiences. It is important to believe the survivor and to let them know that you do.

• Reassure them.

As a result of the attitude of society towards abuse, a survivor may feel at fault and ashamed. You need to remind them that the fault and shame belong only to the abuser.

Also, reassure the survivor that certain emotions like fear, anxiety, and anger are normal reactions to traumatic experiences.

• Remain calm.

You may be shocked or outraged by what a sexual abuse survivor has experienced, but it is important to stay calm because an outburst may cause them more pain.

Also, refrain from ranting or making threats about the abuser. Instead, listen to what the survivor wants to say calmly so that they can be calm too.

• Be patient.

Do not press the survivor for details of the incident. Talking about the experience is reliving it, so let them tell you as much as they want at their own pace.

Also, the survivor should be allowed to take their time in healing. They can't just suck it up and heal. Recovery can be a long and difficult process, and each person moves at their own pace.

• Encourage them.

There are certain steps crucial to healing that survivors of sexual abuse may feel too tired, overwhelmed, or reluctant to take. You can encourage them to get medical attention, report the crime, go for counseling, etc.

It is important to know that only the survivor can decide what they want and when. Don't pressure them into taking steps they don't want to take or aren't ready to take.

• Stay supportive.

One way you can help a survivor of sexual abuse is by making yourself available to help them in ways that you can. You can do this by always reminding them that they are not alone, and by asking how you can help.

They may be too anxious to spend the night or go to the hospital alone, so you can offer to stay with them. You can also extend invitations to them if you notice they are self-isolating.

Keep in mind that it is important to always ask the survivor how you can help. Assuming or taking charge can be disempowering and triggering.

• Respect their privacy.

Do not tell anyone about a survivor's experience without their permission. Let them decide who they will tell. Remember, their abuse is not your story to tell.

Also, do not confront the abuser. This could make things worse for the survivor. You can encourage them to report the abuse.

It is also important for you to know that while supporting a survivor of sexual abuse, you must not disregard yourself and your needs. You must keep the rest of your life on track. It is okay to say "No" when asked to do things you can't handle.

In conclusion, as much as it is important to support survivors of sexual abuse, a better way to help everyone at risk of sexual abuse is to stop it from happening at all. One way to do this is to stop policing women's bodies.

Check here for survivor support services in Nigeria.